The Breaking Light

Lately I’ve been coming across a lot of videos of moms who have been vulnerable about a certain feeling they’ve been struggling with: fear. More specifically, the fear of missing out of what’s happening around them because they have a child.

Now, I’d be lying if I said I couldn’t relate… I definitely can. I became a mother at 24 years old. And quite frankly, that’s young compared to most. The average age a woman becomes a mother is 27. Although that’s only a 3 year difference, that’s still a lot of life to live independently.

It’s so easy to fall into the deep rabbit hole of all the things you think you could be missing out on… hanging out with friends, going on trips, staying out late… the “normal” things someone in their 20s can do. There have been so many times where I was questioned for my decisions… the decision to get married “early” or to have kids “early” for instance. Why would I want that? And how do you battle the feelings of “missing out” that may try to convince you that you’re wrong for the life you now live?

First off, your feelings are so valid.

Please don’t feel any shame or guilt by feeling this way. If you do feel this way, it doesn’t mean you love your kid any less! It just means you’re mourning the life you used to have, and that’s normal. It’s good to be honest with yourself and your feelings. But let’s have a change of perspective… this is what has helped me the most.

I love the life I lived before my daughter was born. I have an amazing husband, the best friends any woman would be lucky to have, a beautiful church I’m part of, and overall I just always had something fun I was doing! Whether that was going out with a big group of friends to play Frisbee, hiking, going out to dinner, racing, etc. I liked staying busy. But just because I have a daughter now doesn’t mean that has to stop!

Doing life together.

We’ve taken Ezri out every weekend that we go to play Frisbee and she loves to watch her mom and dad play! I love hanging out with my friends, and my friends love Ezri! It’s like she has all of these amazing aunts who would do anything for her. I love going on walks and hikes and so does Ezri! She’s always so curious and loves just seeing new things… do you see where I’m going with this?

I was scared I was missing out because I have Ezri now…but instead? I do life WITH her. My life by no means has to stop because of her. If anything, I should be embracing my life even more so she can see new things, experience new environments, and learn about different things too.

Will things change because you’re a mother? Absolutely. And that’s ok! But don’t feel like you have to lose your life to it. Embrace your life because of it!

The Fear Of Missing Out

First off, your feelings are so valid.

Doing life together.

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