I was very optimistic that I would go into labor early with Ezri. I was very ready to NOT be pregnant anymore. I could’ve sworn I was pregnant for a lifetime.
Monday, Nov 15th, 2021
Initially, I was scheduled to be seen for an ultrasound to be put on the monitor to make sure our little girl was still doing alright. I was 40 weeks and 2 days at that appointment! I had prayed and prayed not to be induced, since I wanted nothing more than to have things be as natural as possible… Alex and I both wanted that. But after trying what felt like everything in the book to go into labor naturally, nothing was happening. And Ezri was a big girl… measuring close to 41 weeks and 3 days… so, at our consultation with my OB, we talked about induction.
I was so grateful Alex was able to be there with me. We decided that the following day, Tuesday the 16th, would make the most sense. All I thought was, “Even if my body was trying to go into labor, I would be too nervous for the induction that it could stop the whole process!” Since we had an appointment later in the afternoon, our OB said she would call the birthing center and schedule a time. Once that was all together she would call me to confirm.
Ultimately, as much as I didn’t want to be induced we were SO excited knowing that in a matter of days we would meet our baby girl and that the end was in site for me not being pregnant anymore! We spread the word with a quick message to our friends and family, then went to have dinner with two of our close married friends to talk it over with them.
Our sweet friend is a mama to 4 kids and asked me if I had heard of castor oil. A midwife suggested it to her for one of her pregnancies and it sent her into labor 24 hours later. She asked me if I wanted to try drinking some, and after thinking it over for a second, I thought, “Why not? I’m going into labor one way or the other.” So I said yes! It’s definitely not for the faint of heart… it was really hard to get down, but I did it!! We went on to have a great dinner, but I remember checking my phone often to see if I had a missed call or an email about my induction time. I never got a message.
Probably about half an hour later, I started to feel cramps. In all honesty, I didn’t think much about them; I thought I was having a stomachache. I ended up going to the bathroom and kept feeling very crampy. Alex and I went home and all I could do was pace around our 520 sq ft apartment just telling him “I have to walk!! What if these are contractions!!!?” I called my friend who gave me the castor oil and she immediately told me “GO TO BED! They sound like real contractions! You need to rest!” I immediately got ready for bed, told Alex, and we both went to sleep.
Being 40 weeks pregnant, you can imagine I still had to get up many times throughout the night to pee. Every time I got up I still felt the cramps and felt so relieved. I remember thinking, “I think this is it…” I was able to lay back in bed and fall back to sleep between each contraction. I was so grateful I got as much rest as I did.
Tuesday, Nov 16th, 2021
Alex and I woke up around 7:30 am. We had asked if we could have an induction time of 9 or 10 am so we would be able to sleep in and eat breakfast, but I still never had a call confirming my time or that I was even being induced today. So I called, left a message, and fell back to sleep for a little bit.
I woke up still feeling the contractions, but got breakfast ready for us. I remember telling Alex I was still feeling contractions and I decided to start timing them while I made breakfast and got ready. The birthing centers rule was: you needed to have contractions for at least an hour, and they needed to be 5 minutes apart lasting for 1 minute long. At the start of us timing them, mine were averaging 3 minutes apart for 45 seconds each. I told Alex and he got his coat and shoes on saying “This is it!!! It’s time!!!” Keep in mind, I still needed to change out of my pajamas and we didn’t even eat breakfast yet!
I laughed and told him I was positive I was in labor and called the birthing center. The midwife I spoke to was so excited and told me she would get a hold of another midwife who was on call at the hospital. I went to go get ready and Alex volunteered to time my contractions for me. I would yell, “START!!” then breath through the contractions, and yell “STOP!” when it ended. They were staying right at the average we had when we started! 45 seconds to a minute long and 3 minutes apart.
I got the call. “You guys need to go in to the birthing center!” By then, we had eaten breakfast and we were ready!! Alex made a prayer chain to let our closest friends and family know I was in labor, and we were off!!
I remember being so nervous they were going to send us away. Or tell us, “You’re not in enough pain, you’re still in very early labor!” I had prepared Alex to be faced with that reality that we might have to leave if I wasn’t far enough along. All I could think was how I was told, “If you can talk through contractions… you aren’t far at all.” I could definitely talk through contractions by the time we left for the birthing center.
We got there and was admitted at 11am!!
**From this point on, my concept of time is an absolute blur… so bear with me!**
We got in, admitted, had a COVID test, and I had blood drawn. I met with the first OB on call and she warned us since my daughter was measuring very big, I was at risk of shoulder dystocia and could end up in a C-section. We told her our goal was to go as natural as possible, but if it came down to that, they could do whatever was necessary. We just wanted her here safe and sound.
I had my first cervical check and was at 2 cm. I wasn’t surprised, but ready to work to try and dilate more! My friend called me and told me if I wanted to leave the birthing center and come back when I was farther along, she would come and meet Alex and I. But, I wanted to stay. I felt confident that we got there when I needed to be there, and I trusted my body to carry me and my daughter through the entire labor process naturally.
They put me on the monitor for a little bit just to track my contractions and Ezri’s heart rate. The contractions definitely required more concentration to get through. As I was laying in bed, I was holding Alex’s hand and he would talk me through each contraction as he was watching the monitor. I remember him saying, “You’re doing great Summer… you just got through the peak… 10 seconds left…” and it brought me so much comfort just listening to him talk and thinking, “OK, the worst part is over… I’m one contraction closer.”
About an hour or so later, they took me off of the monitor.
We walked around the birthing center, I bounced on the birthing ball, and we went through every position I knew of to help me dilate more. I was laboring with different positions both on the bed and on the ball. The midwife on call came and checked in with Alex and I sometime in the middle of all that and told us about everything that was about to happen. She said, “When you hit transition, you’re gonna start yelling, shaking, and wanting to curse us out. That’s how you’ll know you’re getting closer!!!” We just laughed… (ohh but we didn’t know she was entirely right!!)
At some point I wasn’t able to talk through contractions anymore… all of my focus was put to breathing through each one and NOT tensing up (which is a lot harder than it sounds). I started to moan and groan because of the pain, but it really did help me to relax and breath.
I denied a cervical check at one point after this; I was very focused and didn’t want one nor saw it as necessary.
At some point, I told Alex I wanted to labor in the shower for a little bit… I had mentioned getting an epidural, but wanted to try everything I knew before it came to that… I want to say I was in the shower with him for close to an hour. Around this time I really hit my low point. I was crying to him saying, “I don’t think I can do this anymore… it’s getting too painful…” He continually encouraged me to keep fighting. He knew I had it in me even when I didn’t.
I then remembered, one of my friends had some pain medication when she was in labor, and told me it helped her relax for a bit. I decided to try that. I was hopeful just to see if it would give me some rest before it was time to push.
I got out of the shower and we called the nurse in. She needed to check to see how far I was dilated before I could get the pain meds. “6 centimeters!” she said. I was excited considering I thought I was, maybe, sitting at 4 centimeters. She gave me the pain medication and Alex sat next to me. She hooked me up on the monitor again and we continued to work through each contraction. Every contraction was just as painful, but the medicine helped me to fall asleep between each one. Talk about a “power nap!”
At some point while I was on the monitor, they started to bring things into the room to prepare for delivery. Alex was watching them bring everything in and encouraged me, saying, “See babe? You’re getting so close!!”
As I was resting, the monitor’s alarm started going off. I jumped awake and asked Alex what was wrong. He told me, “The baby’s heart rate was low for a second, but it’s ok now!” I knew he didn’t want me to worry, but it went off again and we decided to let our nurse know. We called her in, told her what happened, and she very calmly said “Ok! I’m just going to let your OB know.”
**At this point in time my water still wasn’t broken… we were trying to get it to break naturally.**
I’m not sure how long I was in bed for, but the pain medication had worn off and I was crying to Alex again, “I’m so tired babe…I don’t think I have any fight left in me.” I was holding his hand with one hand while grabbing into the bed with another. With each contraction I got louder and louder, and my whole body was trembling as I was fighting to breath through them. Alex would run his hand on my face and down to my shoulders, all while calmly saying, “Relax your face… relax your shoulders… you’re ok, babe…you’re doing great!” I mentioned the epidural again and he called my nurse in.
She came in and I told her “I can’t do it anymore! I really want the epidural.” I’m convinced I had an angel as a nurse, because she just responded, “Honey, I know you’re tired, and I know you don’t feel like it, but you’re doing amazing, and I promise you, you’re almost there! If we give you the epidural now, it’ll slow everything down.” (Looking back at this, I think she knew something was very wrong with Ezri and she knew if I got the epidural, it would’ve made it worse.)
So, no epidural. I began to panic thinking at how much pain I was in. I reached for Alex’s arm as another contraction hit. Surprisingly, me panicking made that the most painful one yet. I thought to myself, “You need to relax Summer… you’re ok.” I was able to calm myself down and I heard Alex’s voice again, saying, “Relax your shoulders Summer. I’m right here… you’re doing great!”
My nurse checked my cervix again and said, “You’re at 8 1/2 – 9 cm!”
They took me off the monitor. My nurse was helping me in a bunch of different positions to help Ezri get in position for me to push. She had me go on the toilet, use the peanut ball, rest over the head of the bed… you name it, I probably did it! This part felt like it lasted hours! (Which it might have… again, I had no concept of time! I couldn’t see the clock since Alex took off my glasses after I got out of the shower… smart man).
“You’re going to feel a TON of pressure… like you have to poop… that’s when you’ll know the baby is getting in position. Your body is going to start wanting to push.” My nurse told us.
She left for a bit and as each contraction passed, the more pressure I felt. I told Alex to call her and let her know. She came into my room and we told her. She replied, “Great!!! I’ll let the OB know!” I was hooked back up to the monitor and she told me that whenever my body wanted to push… PUSH! Then she left the room and I was so surprised! I thought this was the time when you would have a bunch of midwives and nurses come in to prepare for the baby. But I found out that as close as I was to having our daughter finally here with us, I still had a little bit longer to go.
I started to push with each contraction. I was scared this moment was going to be the most painful, but, honestly, it wasn’t. At times, maybe. But it was mainly just a lot of pressure!
My nurse would peek in on me every now and then to see how I was doing, and eventually ended up coming back with my OB. (Keep in mind, my water STILL wasn’t broken, just leaked a little!) I was about an hour and a half into pushing when I had to get my water broken for me.
This was when it became very scary for us.
“The baby is under a lot of stress,” we were told. “I can see meconium in your water, so we have to do an emergency C-section, but you have been pushing for a while, so it’s very possible you can get this baby out before we can get our team together.”
It’s all a blur after this point, in all honesty. I can remember feeling scared for my daughter, but ignited to do whatever I had to too get her out as soon as possible. Alex told me that at this moment I turned into a “She-Hulk” because of how hard I was fighting. The more I pushed, the more I heard the alarm on the monitor going off. I knew her heart rate was continually dropping.
At some point, they called in nurse practitioners to take our daughter after she was born. I looked at my OB and asked, “Will I at least get to breastfeed her?” She looked at me and said “We’re calling in some extra help for your baby when she gets here! If she doesn’t need it, then she’s all yours.” I remember she said it so calmly to me. I often wonder what they were expecting. They did amazing at keeping me calm!
I had my OB ready to catch Ezri, and two people on each side holding my legs, with Alex right next to me. Even now, thinking back, I can very clearly hear him saying, “Dig Summer! Dig, dig, dig!” I was exhausted, but with everyone in there, I knew I was close.
Wednesday, Nov 17th, 2021
After 3 hours of pushing, our daughter was born at 4:11 am. I will never forget the relief my body felt. They put her on my belly as they were wiping her off. She still wasn’t crying, so my OB told two nurse practitioners to take her. Alex never left my side, and kept telling me, “She’s doing ok! She’s fine!” My eyes were glued to where they had taken her in our room. It felt like an eternity, but she finally let out a little whimper of a cry and I just sighed in relief.
She was having trouble breathing and couldn’t take a deep breath. They swaddled her and put her on my chest for maybe 10 seconds before they had to take her again to put her on oxygen. Alex told me she was practically gray right when she was born.
They took her up to the nursery to put her on oxygen, but ultimately decided she needed to be transferred to the NICU of another medical center an hour north of us. Even though she was doing much better when she was transferred, she still needed some extra help.
She got preventative treatment at the NICU after the doctors ran tests and thought she had brain damage from a stroke she suffered at birth. But the last test they ran showed barely any damage! God truly healed our daughter!!
After 8 days in the NICU, we took our daughter home on Thanksgiving. What a perfect day to give thanks.
We named our daughter, Ezri Hope.
Her name literally means “Help me, Yehovah, to have Hope.” She truly is a beacon of hope for our little family.
Read More Below
- My Labor and Delivery Story
- My Postpartum Journey
- Grief of What Was
- The Day Time Stopped
- To the Mama Who Tries to Do It All
